So...what have we learned?

Week 2 has come and gone. I am really working harder now, at least physically, than I did before my layoff. Many tasks have been or are in stages of completion. My sister recently moved out of state and her house is going to be sold this week - so I am helping her by getting the rest of her belongings out and running the vac before final walk through. She cannot get in town to take care of these things....ah family. Lucky for her, we are a pitch in and get it done bunch!

I don't understand the intepretation of dreams. Sometimes it is probably best to not attempt to make sense of some things. One thing that has become very interesting to me, is the sudden existence of actual dreams - vivid ones. Some good, some bad. I've heard that we all dream and rarely remember them, but I am not sure that is accurate. The last two Fridays I have met the ladies with whom I used to work for lunch. Some of them still have a few weeks left, and have commented on the lack of visible stress is my face now. Sure some of that is probably the Prozac, but during the last few days I have come to the belief that my sleep is now more restful, and my dreams more Tim Burton-esque, because I no longer spend my nights mentally processing and storing all the stress inducers experienced during the day. 'They' say dreams are how we process those things and why our dreams can be so wacky - but why didn't I remember and feel my dreams then the way I do now? Ahhh, because I lived it once, and the replay going on in my mind to compress and file and make room for more was not anything new, therefore, it was nothing of note! AH-HA.....epiphany! The creative side is now able to swing her wings and take care of me. The movies in my mind are more entertaining, ergo, I don't have the desire to wake up two and three times a night now, ergo, my rest is more recuperative and the stress in my face replaced by happiness.

Maybe everyone has it wrong, wrinkle creams and face lifts aren't the way to make your face look younger and more radiant. Maybe losing your job is the way to go.......well, at least until reality (known as the mailman) delivers a fresh stack of bills!

Ciao!

Creating New Purpose

Much has transpired since my last post. I have just completed Week 1 of being unemployed. The manufacturing plant where I worked is in the final phases of ramping down, the final one of the three production lines is due to cease at the end of April. Knowing for as long as I had about the impending closure gave me much time to consider many things. I moved through the stages of grief, although I did linger on the Anger stage a good long while, by the time my final week rolled around I was strangely calm and looking forward to moving on. The hardest day for me was the last day of production for the lines I had responsibility over. Watching that last compressor come off the line, seeing the great men who built those compressors complete even the last one with the same level of care and compentence as the many thousands produced before filled me with pride, anger and sadness. That day was the end for me. I cried, I cried hard.

So in the four weeks I worked to 'wrap things up', getting inventory completed, resolving open issues with vendors, etc etc, I began to think of the future. There are no job prospects. Resumes have gone unanswered, the job listings seem to have become anorexic, and so I began the list. A to-do list. Before I get to that, let me tell you that I am one of those people who loved what I did. I was a Buyer/Purchasing Agent - have done that for a long time and in several different industries. I was good too. But I still liked to think and say that "I work to live, I don't live to work", or "My job is what I do, not who I am". - but frankly our identity is strongly tied to our jobs. The impact of your job ending is crushing, and not just from a financial point of view! The challenge each workday brings, the opportunity to kick ass - what a rush! So now what?

Well that is where the list comes into play. All the things I have been meaning to do, wanting to do, needing to do around the house, yard and barn: that is my new job. I spent time as a housewife several years ago during short period of unemployment. Problem then, I did not plan my days or weeks and spent a lot of time on the sofa watching TV. This time, while I seek the next entry on my work history - I will make better use of my time. Proud I am to say that Week 1 was a success. I did a thorough cleaning of the bathroom, even the shelves in the medicine cabinet are clean, I did the window (inside and out), and began to tackle the laundy/pantry room with a vengance!

The Mister and I live in what used to be my grandparent's home. My grandmother was one of those ladies who canned every year, did not rotate or use what she canned - so there are easily jars of peaches and green beans over 30 years old back there. Last year I worked to empty about 100 of those jars and had been meaning to do a few every week (never did). This past week, I emptied well over 20 dozen quart jars, washed and packed them in boxes to be used for future canning, storage or craft ventures. I threw away quite a few small appliances; blender, toaster oven and a couple of other fire hazards; that were stored back there too. I am ready to rip out the old plywood and 2x4 shelves, clean the walls and floors and get ready to paint. The room is a lovely shade of 1970's yellow. I had to force myself to take the day off today.

I thought about taking a WWMD (What Would Martha Do) approach to my new role, and decided against doing so. I've never modeled myself after anyone else, why give up my true identity and lose sight of the real me? I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman, I am ME!