Creating New Purpose

Much has transpired since my last post. I have just completed Week 1 of being unemployed. The manufacturing plant where I worked is in the final phases of ramping down, the final one of the three production lines is due to cease at the end of April. Knowing for as long as I had about the impending closure gave me much time to consider many things. I moved through the stages of grief, although I did linger on the Anger stage a good long while, by the time my final week rolled around I was strangely calm and looking forward to moving on. The hardest day for me was the last day of production for the lines I had responsibility over. Watching that last compressor come off the line, seeing the great men who built those compressors complete even the last one with the same level of care and compentence as the many thousands produced before filled me with pride, anger and sadness. That day was the end for me. I cried, I cried hard.

So in the four weeks I worked to 'wrap things up', getting inventory completed, resolving open issues with vendors, etc etc, I began to think of the future. There are no job prospects. Resumes have gone unanswered, the job listings seem to have become anorexic, and so I began the list. A to-do list. Before I get to that, let me tell you that I am one of those people who loved what I did. I was a Buyer/Purchasing Agent - have done that for a long time and in several different industries. I was good too. But I still liked to think and say that "I work to live, I don't live to work", or "My job is what I do, not who I am". - but frankly our identity is strongly tied to our jobs. The impact of your job ending is crushing, and not just from a financial point of view! The challenge each workday brings, the opportunity to kick ass - what a rush! So now what?

Well that is where the list comes into play. All the things I have been meaning to do, wanting to do, needing to do around the house, yard and barn: that is my new job. I spent time as a housewife several years ago during short period of unemployment. Problem then, I did not plan my days or weeks and spent a lot of time on the sofa watching TV. This time, while I seek the next entry on my work history - I will make better use of my time. Proud I am to say that Week 1 was a success. I did a thorough cleaning of the bathroom, even the shelves in the medicine cabinet are clean, I did the window (inside and out), and began to tackle the laundy/pantry room with a vengance!

The Mister and I live in what used to be my grandparent's home. My grandmother was one of those ladies who canned every year, did not rotate or use what she canned - so there are easily jars of peaches and green beans over 30 years old back there. Last year I worked to empty about 100 of those jars and had been meaning to do a few every week (never did). This past week, I emptied well over 20 dozen quart jars, washed and packed them in boxes to be used for future canning, storage or craft ventures. I threw away quite a few small appliances; blender, toaster oven and a couple of other fire hazards; that were stored back there too. I am ready to rip out the old plywood and 2x4 shelves, clean the walls and floors and get ready to paint. The room is a lovely shade of 1970's yellow. I had to force myself to take the day off today.

I thought about taking a WWMD (What Would Martha Do) approach to my new role, and decided against doing so. I've never modeled myself after anyone else, why give up my true identity and lose sight of the real me? I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman, I am ME!